Funny Jokes123

#1.Never underestimate the power of three things;

1. Wife angry for a reason;

2. Wife angry without reason

and

3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.

 

#2.The Perfect Son. 
A: I have the perfect son. 
B: Does he smoke? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he drink whiskey? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he ever come home late? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is

     he ? 
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

 

#3.Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two

      things. 
Boy: What are the two things? 
Girl: Your feet. 

 

#4.A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language." 

 

#5.My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. 
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

 

#6.The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick' 
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?' 
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'

I use this joke for retelling in reported speech. 

 

#7.Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. 
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

 

#8.Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No

one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.

Doctor: Next please! 

 

#9.A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans.

Is it a boy or a girl? 
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. 
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. 
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

 

#10.Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" 
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?